Finding A Friend
by HarryPotterForever3
Summary: Written in Journal is is about Albert's Life before the War and before Joey came into his life. It is also about him and Joey,how he feels about loosing Joey,his first real friend and his journey looking for him(Includes him enlisting in Army)Deals with Alcoholism. All he wants is a friend and somebody to love and accept him.He feels completely alone in this world.
1. 2 years Before the War

**Prologue... Before Joey.**

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><p><strong>July 17th, 2 years before the War.<strong>

The summer was hot here on the farm. Today I helped my father plow the fields with Old Zoey, our Plow Horse.

Sorry I didn't introduce myself. I am 14 year old,Albert John Nottingham. I live in Devon,Ireland with my Mother and Father. I love them to bits because well because I do. They're my parents and I love them and want to make them proud. An impossible task because my dad will never be happy or,even slightly ever proud of me. Frankly I think he hates me.I think I am the only reason my parents got married. Dad got Mom pregnant one night and being the man he is owned up to the responsibilities of being a father. I'm not sure he is a good dad but,I have nobody to compare him to. My parents have a bad marriage but,won't get a divorce because divorce is a sin apparently and they are very religious people.

All I want is to make them proud of me but,I have no idea how to do that. I am truly alone in this world. I live in on the edge of a small town and didn't ever go to school because I'm needed here on the farm. My mom made sure I got somewhat educated though. She thought education was important and she brought me up right. She is a wonderful person but,is too timid to stand up to my abusive father. Dad isn't a complete monster though. When he's sober he may be a slight jerk but,at least he acts appreciative and kind to my mother. I will sacrifice my happiness for her. She doesn't want me to but I will because I care more about her than I do myself.

We all have a place in my father's heart. My mother is his house keeper,and I am his slave. What's worse is Zoey is just a tool not a living breathing lovable animal to him. I don't think my father can show compassion. He just has a heart of ice.

I do farm work while he spends all of our profit on things we don't really need,drinks or works the area of the farm I am not aloud to touch with Zoey. She is so sweet and loves working but,she works to hard and she is paying the price for it. If only we had another horse or someone to split my duties with. What I'm talking about is a friend.

The only thing I want in this world is a friend. It can come in any species of animal,I'm not picky. Beggers can't be choosers as they say and I am pleading for a friend. I just want someone to care for me,listen to me and someone that I can be myself around. You see around my father I need to be this strong,brave farmer while my mother wants me to be her little educated scholar. All I want to be is a kid who's happy and has a friend. A kid who is not alone. I am perfectly content by myself but,it would be nice to have someone to play with and share my secrets.

I love our farm horse but, I would also love to have a horse of my own. A horse could be my friend and I could just be free. Horse's don't judge you on your family or, your looks but,your character. I feel a special bond with these magnificent beasts. I once was tolled you may read history but,horses wrote it and its true. Horses have been mentioned and used throughout history.

We have one horse on our family farm, Zoey, a Clydesdale/Percheron mix. She is strong and gentle. Zoey is also getting old and she is slowing down. Farm work is finally talking a toll on her body. I can ride her,Zoey actually taught me how to ride but,she is built for farm work rather than riding. She can be ridden but,she is not very comfortable. I also don't want to tire her out because her muscles are sore after a long day cultivating the field and she needs rest just as much as I do.

You say owning a horse is a big responsibility and I don't disagree with you but,I think I can handle it. I may be only 14 but,I am very mature for my age. You see I take care of a lot of the farm myself these days. A horse would make my job easier and I could fit taking care of it into my schedule. It also relive some of the pressure on poor Old Zoey.

I can have a bond with another horse too. Let me rephrase that for you, I would like to have a bond with a horse that I could ride and grow up with. Zoey and I have a strong bond even though I don't ride her often. Bonding with horses isn't all about riding. It's about understanding. She is sweet and gentle and I can tell her anything. She and I are like family. She is like my trust worthy older sister but,I can't play with her because she is working with my father all day. If only I had a horse of my own. He could help with the farm work but also could be used for riding. It could even benefit dad. I could ride him into town to help him on market days or even go instead of him so he doesn't have to deal with the stress of the city.

Riding gives me a freedom. There is nothing like feeling the wind go through your hair as you gallop through fields or, the feeling of flying while going over a jump. Yes, all I want is a horse who I can trust,who could be my best friend.

The sad truth is I most likely am never getting a horse. Zoey does a great job with the fields and you only need one strong horse for that. My father is all about his benefit and I doubt cares if I'm happy. I asked him for a horse of my own once and he just said no we have Zoey. I can only hope that one day he gets too drunk on a market day and makes a bet with one of his buddies and brings home a foal instead of a cow or pig or whatever other animal we needed to get that day.

My father usually goes to market on Tuesdays and is there all day. He goes to get new cows or pigs to fatten up so we can have fresh meat or just goes with one of his friends to help them out. Either way he gets drunk on market days. "To relive the stress and to clear his head." he says.

That is a load of rubbish in my opinion. Alcohol actually makes you have anxiety, depressed and makes stress hard to deal with. In some cases it helps you relax but,in most cases it has a negative effect. I personally believe it's just a bad thing after all. That's why I will never have a sip of alcohol in my life. I feel like it would ruin my life. I refuse to be like my father,I'm a better person than he will ever be. The only effect alcohol has on my father is it makes him angry and hard to deal with. Alcohol is what made my father change from loving gentleman to monster in a matter of seconds.

A part of me wants to run away from the monster and never comeback. Just leave with the clothes on my back but,I can't leave my mother here with him. I need to protect her even if that means I will never be happy or, free. A horse could be a way for me to go away to a happy place where I belong. A place where I am free. A horse could be an escape route,at least emotionally for a little while and still be somewhat comfortable at home with Mother. The only issue with this is that I still have to stay and watch my father turn from old farmer who couldn't hurt a fly to a big,nasty,furry beast. What alcohol does to my father is sort of like what the potion did to that scientist in a story my mother read to me when I was 8. What was the story called Dr. Heckle and Jack?No that's not right. Was it Hyde and Dr. Cackle? No that's not correct either. Was it Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde?Ahh that's it. Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. The story about a scientist who is kind and handsome but,one day a potion went horribly wrong. He made it to prove that everyone is neither both good or bad and wanted to experiment to see if one could ever be but,its not in a humans chemical make up to be and the Doctor is stuck in the middle of the too. He is a kind Dr. Jeckyl and then to answer you simply a monster called Mr. Hyde.

The alcohol is like my father's _potion_ which turns him into his own version of Dr. Jeckyl and Hyde. He would be Jeckyl most of the week but,on Tuesdays he is to full of the _potion _and on Wendsdays he is unbearable because he has a hangover from _the poison. _I guess my life could be worse though. I am thankful to have my loving mother, a roof over my head,Zoey and most days my dad. When he is sober I guess he is a good dad. His only flaw besides being a bad alcoholic is he expects too much. As long as I have them my heart is free...Well goodnight Journal.*Yawn*

Albert J. Nottingham.


	2. Last Day of May A year before the war

Sorry I've been neglecting you. My life has been plain and boring here at the farm. Nothing worth writing about until now.~Albert

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><p><strong>May 31st, 1 year before the war.<strong>

Today is Tuesday which means my father is full of the poison aka the alcohol and is at the market. I still don't understand why he goes to the market drunk but, he still does. He gives me the poorest excuse to explain his action "Makes me more aggressive at auction"He says.

Yeah like he needs anymore aggression. His excuse is completely transparent to me. He is addicted to his poison and will use any excuse to get it. I guess it makes him feel better about his slimy old self. My father is a good person really but, only when he's sober can I see my father as a good man. Now,that he is changed and drunk it is hard for me to distinguish between the two. They really are one person but, I like to think that they are just two different people.

At least he's gone most of the day today and I can spend most of the day with my mom and Zoey. I silently wish he brings me back a colt for me, that would make me one of the happiest children on the planet. I know it's unlikely that it will happen but,I believe if I wish for it hard enough that I will get one. It might never happen but,you never know what will happen when my dad is in a state like this.

Today Dad is supposed to bring home a new dairy cow because ours died a few weeks ago and we need milk. It's expensive and I feel it's easier to get for yourself and then sell for profit. The loss of Old Betsy was hard on us all. She was a kind cow(She never kicked out at you) and always gave us the richest and healthiest milk. RIP Betsy,you'll be missed.

As we wait for my father to come home I help my mother around the house,and work on my penmanship. I heard talk on the radio about a war breaking out between Britain and Germany. I hope it doesn't break out into a war. I'm not much of a fighter and I would have to go as the eldest male of the family,since my father is unable to. I must go to protect the farm and everything I know and love.

About 5 o'clock in the evening I see my father coming up the road to the house with 2 of his buddies. John and Brian. They are dragging something behind them. "Poor Cow." I think to myself.

I look again and notice that it's not a cow. It's the wrong,color,size and shape to be a cow. But,if it's not a cow what could it be. I silently pray that it's a horse for me.

It's dark and I can barely make out the outline of what it is. It's a horse. I know in my heart that,that beauty was meant to be mine. I thank the Lord and Heavens above for my gift. I finally got my wish. I finally have a friend.

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><p><strong>That Night...<strong>

My father put the scared colt in the barn with Zoey and staggered into the house. I only got a glimpse of the handsome red bay with four white socks and a white star-stripe-snip on his head. He is a real beauty that one. I am guessing by his size he is about 2 years old.

I see my father standing in the kitchen with my mother. He slurs a few words and the only sentence I can make out is "Don't touch that horse. He needs to be broken by a _real man._"

I am extremely insulted by this but,don't let it show in my expression. I have always been brave and never ever tried to take the easy way out. If anything I am more of a man than he will ever be but,I have learned not to argue with him,especially when he is under the influence.

I am going to be with and take care of the colt. I will name him Joey because it rhymes with Zoey. Zoey and Joey how cute. They will be a pair working the fields.

Joey needs a friend more than he needs a master. Horses spirits are never broken. They are taught through understanding. If you care for a horse they will take care of you in return. That's just how it works.

I will ignore my father's explicit instructions to stay away from the colt he calls "A dangerous stupid animal who needs manners."I was told many times when I was younger that when my father is drunk don't mind a word he says. That is the case now. My father is drunk and I'm not about to start listening to the man now. I've learned that when he is like this he doesn't think about what he is saying and his words have no meaning. They're just words.

He speaks to me again and asks me not so nicely to feed Zoey and _the idiot stallion_,I suppose that means Joey. This is the request that I listen to. Tonight I was supposed to go ring the church bells but,I can do it all.

I devour my dinner and then I run to the barn with mother directly behind me. I grab the grain and pour it into two feed buckets and put feed out hay for the two horses. I give Zoey her feed and then put Joey's food in the corner of his stall. I notice the colt is dirty and cowering in the corner. "What did my idiot father already do to this little guy?"I quietly ponder. He doesn't seem to trust people but,maybe he will trust me because we are around the same height.

I talk softly to the scared colt. He cautiously walks up to me. I gently touch his body and feel him tense at my touch. "It's okay little one" I say quietly and he relaxes immediately. I lets me continue to pet him and eventually he leans into my touch. "That's a good boy."I praise him.

My mother sees me and tells me to get out of there. I just give her a look that says really mother. "I trust him and I don't care what father said. Joey wouldn't hurt a fly"I tell her.

I realize now that this is the first time I blatantly disobeyed her. She leaves me alone and goes to ring the bells instead of me. I sit there just petting Joey. I fall asleep next to him with a smile on my face. "This is the beginning of a few friendship" I think to myself.

I wonder how I will tell my father that I disobeyed him and that the colt and I are friends. I will train him because I know how and am old enough to do so. I also need my War Horse, if I do indeed go off to war. No matter what my father says Joey is mine. I know that whatever happens Joey and I can get through this together.

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><p><strong>The Next Day...<strong>

I woke up the next morning exhausted. I didn't go to bed until around 10 and farm work starts at sunrise. I had a wonderful dream last night. I dreamed that father brought home a horse.

I stretch out and realize that I'm in the barn and there is something soft lying next to me. It's a horse. My horse. My I in heaven because this is too good to be true.I pinch myself and know that this is indeed reality.

Since I am already in the barn I give the horses their morning feed and then groom Joey. That is when my luck runs out. My father walked in the barn and started screaming. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING BOY?"He yells at me.

He scared Joey so I calmed him down and then walked out of the barn to talk to my still fuming father. I explain to him that I feed him,I care for him,I train him that he's mine. I have already worked off his keep many times over so he can't use that excuse. I look my father directly in the eye and say in the sternest and most hurtful way possible "leave Joey alone and go work with Zoey. I will deal with Joey and the cows. I believe that you are still the man of the farm and aren't ill so go do your duties. I'm sick and tired of doing your job just because you are too drunk to do it yourself. You call yourself a _real man_ then go do it. A real man wouldn't have his son do all the work and take all the credit for it. You are just a lazy coward."

I don't know what has gotten into me but,standing up to my father just felt so right. I look at my dad's face. He looks angry but,there is something else on his face that I don't recognize. "I'm proud of you." He says patting me on the back.

I just stand there gaping at him. He's proud of me. This must be some alternate universe because I doubt my father is ever proud of anything. "Why?"I ask apprehensively.

"Well son you stood up for yourself. I guess I really needed that reality check. Keep the horse if it means that much to you."he says.

There must be something wrong. First he's proud of me,then he calls me son for the first time since...well ever, and now he's letting me keep Joey. What's even stranger is he actually listened to me.

I can't stand there and ponder my father's words all day I have work to do. First I go back to Joey and make sure he is alright. I have to leave him in his stall while I do work and I feel bad because he's alone. I've been alone but,I guess when you are alone you aren't necessarily lonely.

After I finish my work(milking the cows,feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs,plowing the fields and herding our sheep) I devise a schedule for working with Joey. I will work with Joey all weekends and on Tuesday. On those days I will train him to pull the cart,carry a saddle and just spend time bonding with my big red buddy.

Joey is nothing like father described him. He's smart strong and playful. He is still young and I love his useful spirit but,I'm afraid if he doesn't grow up dad will go behind my back and sell him. He probably wants him to pull his own weight also. If he doesn't I fear dad will get rid of him on the grounds of him acting more like a pet and us farmers can't afford a lazy pet. Even though he said he would leave Joey alone I doubt he will. I've learned to not trust the word of my father. He was different today and I am going to be cautious because I don't want to be blindsided by him. I don't trust my father and trust isn't something I ever have given easily. He will have to earn it because trust is a thing to be earned. Zoey taught me that and that is a lesson I will not easily forget.

Write you later,Journal. More news of Joey to come soon.

Goodnight from a happy boy,

Albert


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